Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
