Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
