You made me cry and you don't even care
kristin has been a bad kristin
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
All I want is dick and wine.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
