He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
