I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
