have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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