I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
