Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
