Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.

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  (732): You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant. http://tfl.nu/c7ag
  Replies (23) Good night (3270) Bad night (612)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's always exciting to touch a new boob.

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  (814): It's always exciting to touch a new boob. http://tfl.nu/e374
  Replies (12) Good night (6725) Bad night (718)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  tonight, alcohol would be proud of us

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  (778): tonight, alcohol would be proud of us http://tfl.nu/7h3d
  Replies (10) Good night (5095) Bad night (684)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.

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  (505): well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop. http://tfl.nu/fta9
  Replies (14) Good night (5596) Bad night (789)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"

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  (208): She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!" http://tfl.nu/qjvm
  Replies (41) Good night (2944) Bad night (9616)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.

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  (330): Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment. http://tfl.nu/dli5
  Replies (11) Good night (1350) Bad night (2216)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.

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  (+44): When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly. http://tfl.nu/m7vb
  Replies (16) Good night (4307) Bad night (1197)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.

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  (214): Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point. http://tfl.nu/okg1
  Replies (2) Good night (1727) Bad night (989)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.

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  (517): Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B. http://tfl.nu/djpk
  Replies (12) Good night (2733) Bad night (1461)
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  (949): View more from California

  You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.

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  (949): You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept. http://tfl.nu/3n2j
  Replies (15) Good night (3056) Bad night (684)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.

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  (303): Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics. http://tfl.nu/jbty
  Replies (7) Good night (1077) Bad night (419)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.

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  (404): Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want. http://tfl.nu/ce96
  Replies (6) Good night (1984) Bad night (407)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.

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  (404): She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again. http://tfl.nu/3uos
  Replies (0) Good night (556) Bad night (300)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole

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  (615): I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole http://tfl.nu/7njw
  Replies (4) Good night (320) Bad night (556)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start

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  (773): well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start http://tfl.nu/6z20
  Replies (1) Good night (226) Bad night (589)

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