Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.