Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
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