Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.

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  (810): i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand. (1-810): nice, that's exactly what jesus would do. http://tfl.nu/jen7
  Replies (19) Good night (4273) Bad night (687)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha

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  (330): You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha http://tfl.nu/wuor
  Replies (21) Good night (3812) Bad night (682)
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  (408): View more from California

  So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.

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  (408): So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed. http://tfl.nu/urd8
  Replies (13) Good night (676) Bad night (5843)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?

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  (407): Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives? http://tfl.nu/s936
  Replies (22) Good night (3764) Bad night (1036)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better

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  (479): I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better http://tfl.nu/bldt
  Replies (7) Good night (2541) Bad night (713)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.

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  (705): and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good. http://tfl.nu/bblv
  Replies (7) Good night (2855) Bad night (962)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back

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  (908): Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back http://tfl.nu/mdgi
  Replies (4) Good night (1628) Bad night (531)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.

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  (603): He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring. http://tfl.nu/jkgq
  Replies (7) Good night (728) Bad night (1206)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.

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  (314): How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death. http://tfl.nu/x5xg
  Replies (4) Good night (1062) Bad night (402)
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  (343): View more from Ontario

  You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.

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  (343): You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER. http://tfl.nu/dnn5
  Replies (12) Good night (2270) Bad night (338)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.

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  (708): Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job. http://tfl.nu/i4v1
  Replies (0) Good night (483) Bad night (297)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.

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  (734): You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts. http://tfl.nu/l485
  Replies (1) Good night (834) Bad night (286)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.

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  (857): btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you. http://tfl.nu/me5v
  Replies (0) Good night (389) Bad night (554)
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  (212): View more from New York

  maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"

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  (212): maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off" http://tfl.nu/iuof
  Replies (0) Good night (540) Bad night (265)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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  (216): Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital. http://tfl.nu/atdl
  Replies (6) Good night (129) Bad night (269)

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