Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
