Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
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Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
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100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?