hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us