he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
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I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
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Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT