the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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