Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
