And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
