i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
