No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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