Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(231): View more from Michigan

i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.

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(847): View more from Illinois

how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?

Fav 15 4034 1183
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(818): View more from California

I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.

Fav 20 8142 1547
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(919): View more from North Carolina

It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.

Fav 9 1543 3715
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(480): View more from Arizona

You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.

Fav 14 2089 1252
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(602): View more from Arizona

If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.

Fav 17 1949 676
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.

Fav 5 1475 808
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(919): View more from North Carolina

How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?

Fav 4 44 20
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.

Fav 0 117 9
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