three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
