I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Found the puke drawer
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
