her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
