I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dignity is for republicans.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
