As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
