You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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