i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
