How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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