I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
