party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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