living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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