It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
