Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Damn victory sex feels great
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
