Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize
