We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
there's paper in my vomit.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
