his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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