sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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