also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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