They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
