I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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