Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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