if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
