I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
