WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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