508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize