i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
