his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
