yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
