She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
