I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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