I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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