dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
