Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
