I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
