East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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