Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
