4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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