Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
