margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
