shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm jealous of your bromance
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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