i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
