stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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