Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
