i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
