So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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