Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize