Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
