we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
