Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
