i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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