Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
