I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
